There are many of us. We are called brains/noggins/minds... I am an Über-brain. That means I am all here, most of the time, and that my habitual thinking and conversing methods change according to the circumstance. Above your garden variety of craniums. There are five main types of brains, which are listed in order of randomness.
#1: Rototiller.
Identified by the odd noises that accompany hard thinking. Usually the odd noises are something along the grammar of "um" (or "uh"). The eyes tend to swivel around a bit. Usually comes out with an answer to a quizzitory question, it just takes 'em a while. The answer may or may not be correct, but the Roto' will be certain that it is, regardless of all facts presented to them otherwise.
#2: Diving board.
Tends to be a springoff-er. Grabs the idea you bring up and flies off with it, to heaven knows where. And you might not want to be there when they hit the water. Upon asking a D-board a factual inquiry, you will have the pleasure (or unpleasure) of seeing your original intent hoisted to such heights as to be not only un-identifiable, but wholly resembling an alien with a blown up floaty. You can be certain in advance if you see them thinking for a long time about nothing: they are coming up with ways to extend the thoughts of others to new records.
#3 : One way road.
Ever feel like if you talk to someone, that you always end up talking about the same topic as you have for the last 500 conversations?This is because either your brain or theirs is so locked on to something that your discourse is doomed to flow one way. Usually that way is down into the depths of dumbness, rather than the heavens of high-class. And NO.... You can never be a one way to high class.
#4: Über-brain.
Personified by its lack of adverse personifiableness. Regardless of the method, this sort tries to control the details of just about everything in a conversations (control is good, right?). They do well with Rotos' and One Ways, but are often bested by D-boards. They do well impromptu, but against long studied opinions (dogma) they tend to get a bit tetchy.
#5: Generic responders.
Possibly the worse. Every query, statement, thought, sentence, and diatribe, is replied to with the same couple of answers, regardless of the import of the situation. "Hm, you don't say?", "Huh?", "so?", " I dunno...", "I have a headache". You may notice that all of these either instantly put the focus back on you, or they simply dismiss you (or attempt to do so).
NOTE: very few individuals can determine their own brain type, but it is usually EXTREMELY easy to determine the type of some other person, particularly if you have talked to them for at least two minutes.
I delegate to your friends/family/co -workers to figure what type of brain you have...
P.S I leave to you the decision of whether this is humor or help.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Which are you?
Posted by Big-Dog at 11:50 AM
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5 comments:
I found this post humorous Jay, and in a way helpful. It helps me see the way your cranium categorizes things:)
I will delegate you an Uber Brain, this is not the passing opinion of an uninformed person, but the opinion of an experienced co-dweller in the same habitation. Yes you are definitely an Uber, may God continue to develop in you all the strengths of this particular brain type!
So what am I in your opinion Jay?
Your Sister,
Lauren Ashley
I would have to say that I found it quite humorous, and a little helpful. However, I find that in my exploration of the world there are some brains that seem to elements of several the various types at the same time. I suppose you could call these composite brains. For instance in the course of a phone conversation they may seem like a generic responder, and when posed with a question in person, on a subject they know little about, they take Rototiller approach. But once you bring the conversation into their "realm of expertise" they instantly become a Diving board, taking everything you say to the upper levels of the Stratosphere. The particular brain I am thinking of shall remain unnamed, but also demonstrates the ability of a One Way in steering the conversation back to certain topics, regardless of where the conversation started.
By the way, if you would be so kind as to explain this term 'Uber' I have seen it used in a variety of contexts, and am under the impression that it is related to Super, and has some connection to the German language.
As another aside, I think there is a tendency for groups of people, who ordinarily have a wide variation of interests to exhibit characteristics of a one way street brain, as they try to steer the topic to a subject of mutual interest to the group, which often results in the same topic being returned over and over again when the particular group of people is assembled, as it is acceptable to all.
John Calvin
Oh Hail Lord Goober Brain!
Which one do you think fits a Stegosaurus Brain?
Interesting. Very interesting indeed. Keep it up Jay, I get board when you do not post at least once a week.
Robert L.
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